A man left work one Friday afternoon. But, it being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire week’s wages.When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged
A man was brought to the hospital, and taken quickly in for emergency surgery. The operation went well, and as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed.”Mr. Smith, you’re going to be just fine,” said the nun, gently
Two fags were walking down the street and passed a handsome guy. Onefag turned to the other and said, “See that stud there, Bruce?” “Sure.” “Well, let me tell you, he’s a tremendous fuck!” “No shit?” Bruce asked. “Well, hardly any.”
When i was a kid i used to pray for a new bike. But then I realised that the lord doesn’t work that way, so i stole one and asked him to forgive me!
First person: Do you know how to save five lawyers who are drowning? Second person: No. First person: Good!
I remember when Father Christmas first passed his sleigh-driving test. He came skidding down in front of the toy factory.’Have you passed?’ I asked. Father Christmas pointly proudly to the front of the sleigh. ‘See for yourself!’ he called proudly. ‘No-el plates!’
What do a turtle and a blonde have in common?When they’re on their back their both fucked!