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Tag: TV

Total 111 Posts

Smart Dog

A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away. Later, he notices the dog is back again. He walks over to the dog, and notices the dog has a note in his mouth. The butcher takes the note, and it reads,

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How to write a paper

How to write a paper1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate.4. Stop off at the

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I\’d Love To But…(Pt III)

More goofy excuses you can use to get out of going somewhere you just don’t wanna go to.I’D LOVE TO BUT…… I have to go to court for kitty littering.” … I have to jog my memory.” … I have to knit some dust bunnies for a charity bazaar.” …

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The “Perfect” Day!

The Perfect Day According To…HER8:45 – Wake up to hugs and kisses9:00 – 5 pounds lighter on the scale9:30 – Light breakfast11:00 – Sunbathe12:30 – Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe1:45 – Shopping2:30 – Run into husband’s ex – notice she’s gained 30lbs.3:00 – Facial, massage, nap7:30 – Candlelight

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Two men were stopped by a TV newswoman…

Two men were stopped by a TV newswoman doing streetinterviews about the upcoming presidential primary election.”I’m not voting for any of the candidates,” the first man said. “Idon’t know any of them.””I feel the same way,” the second man said. “Only I knowthem all.”

Because I’m a Guy!

Because I’m a Guy……I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I’ll miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator….when I lock my keys in the car

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Seems this elderly couple went to the clinic…

Seems this elderly couple went to the clinic and asked to be tested for HIV. When the counselor asked why they felt that they should be tested at their age, the old man said,”Well, we heard on TV that people should be tested after annual sex!”