So, I went to the beach to try to pick up girls. I didn’t have any luck and ended up wandering into a surf shop. I talked to the guy there and told him about my dilemma.

He told me that the women on the beach are shallow, and I should buy a Speedo swimsuit and go out to the snack stand, buy a giant pickle on a stick and place it down my shorts. Then I could get women’s attention. I was on my own after that. If they could see the bulge, at least they would be interested.
So, I did exactly what he said, but every time I approached women and made sure they saw the bulge in my swimsuit, they would say “Ewww… Gross!” Or “Get out of here!” or just leave. It was worse than before.

After an hour or so of getting rejected, I went back to the surf shop.

The guy who gave me the advice said “Dude. The pickle goes in FRONT.”