LaughWild

Best jokes site! Database of 12,000 funny jokes!

Category: Lawyer Jokes

Total 140 Posts

The devil’s offer

|The devil visited a lawyer’s office and made him an offer. “I can arrange some things for you, ” the devil said. “I’ll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you’ll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a

Continue Reading

Lawyers give irrelevant information

|Two women are on a transcontinental balloon voyage. Their craft is engulfed in fog, their compass gone awry. Afraid of landing in the ocean, they drift for days. Suddenly, the clouds part to show a sunlit meadow below. As they descend, they see a man walking his dog.One of the

Continue Reading

Lawyers take everything

|A reporter outside of a courtroom asked a defendant clad only in a barrel: “Oh, I see your attorney lost the case!” The defendant answered, “No, we won.”

Solving a dispute

|Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest. The first one spied a nut and cried out, “Oh, look! A nut!” The second squirrel jumped on it and said, “It?s my nut!”The first squirrel said, “That?s not fair! I saw it first!””Well, you may have seen it, but I

Continue Reading

Ounces of brain for sale

|A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains.”How much does it cost for engineer

Continue Reading

Excess billing hours

|A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. But, to his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was standing.

Continue Reading

Rules for hunting lawyers

|1. Any person with a valid Washington State hunting license may harvest attorneys.2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited. 3. Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to

Continue Reading