It’s a bummer to be an egg because…1) You only get laid once. 2) You only get eaten once. 3) It takes 7 minutes to get hard. 4) You have to come in a box with 11 others. 5) The only one who’ll sit on your face is your mother.
|”How can I ever thank you?” gushed a woman to Clarence Darrow, after he had solved her legal troubles.”My dear woman,” Darrow replied, “ever since the Phoenicians invented money there has been only one answer to that question.”
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw an unusually beautiful woman boarding the plane.He soon realized she was heading straight toward his seat. Lo and behold, she took the seat right beside his.Eager to strike up a conversation, he
Your momma is so fat, she was swimming in the ocean and all the whales started singing, “we are family”.
|NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go and couldn?t return to Earth.The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. “A million dollars,” he answered, “because I want to donate it to M.I.T.”The next applicant, a doctor,
A man took his wife to the doctors. After a short examination the doctor said “Your wife’s mind has completely gone!” To which the man replied “I’m not surprised. She’s been giving a piece of it to me every day for the past 25 years!”
That tornado damage your cow barn any? Dunno. Haven’t found the durn thing yet!