Marriage was invented because it’s only so much fun to cheat at cards.
Q. How does a man show he’s planning for the future? A. He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
A guy with leprosy wins tickets to see the world series. But when he gets there, he has trouble finding a seat because pieces of him arepeeling and flaking off, and he’s very concerned about grossing outthe other fans.The leper wanders through the bleachers looking for a seat where hisgrotesque
Some of life’s truisms…Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.I
|A junior partner in a law firm was sent to a far away country to represent a long-term client accused of robbery. After days of trial, the case was won, the client acquitted and released.Excited about his success, the attorney e-mailed the firm: ?Justice prevailed.?The senior partner replied in haste,
Why do you call a womens monthly pain a period?Because Mad Cow Disease was taken.
Q. How do men exercise on the beach? A. By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.