This guy goes into a bar and orders a beer. As he sits drinking, he notices a peanut jump out of the dish before him. The peanut proceeds to talk, ‘hey there buddy,’ it hollers, ‘you’re looking mighty fine tonight!’The guy can’t believe what he is seeing. ‘This sure is
|A programmer and an engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from Los Angeles to New York.The programmer leans over to the engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game.The engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and
A man was walking along a Florida beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it, and out popped a genie.The genie said, “OK, You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month, and I’m getting a little
Q. How can you tell if a man is happy? A. Who cares?
There was this guy, let’s call him bob. One night Bob went to about 5 bars, and he drank, like, 17 beers.After he was done with that, like any normally functioning person, he really had to go. So he asked the bartender where the bathroom was, and he went to
I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion, not proof,
|Warning Signs that you Might Need a Different Lawyer 1-) Your lawyer tells you that his last good case was of Budweiser. 2-) When the prosecutors see your lawyer, they high-five each other. 3-) Your lawyer picks the jury by playing “duck-duck-goose.” 4-) Your lawyer tells you that he has