TEACHER: Jack, how old are you on your last birthday?JACK: 7 years oldTEACHER: How old are you going to be on your next birthday?JACK: 9 years oldTEACHER: That’s impossible!JACK: No it’s not. I’m 8 today.TEACHER: Mike, go to the map and show me where America is.MIKE: Here it is !TEACHER:
|When little Reggie was inducted into the Army, he was advised to act tough.”That’s the only way to command respect in the Army,” his friends said.So Reggie did his best to carry out the advice. He swaggered all around camp, bragging, blustering and talking out of the corner of his
A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said “My dog’s cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?” “Well,” said the vet, “lets have a look at him.” So he picks the dog up and has a good look at its eyes. “Hmm,” says the vet, “I’m
A bear and a rabbit are taking a dump in the woods.The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, “Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?”The rabbit says, “No, of course not!”So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit!
A boy goes on a fishing trip with his grandpa. They install themselves on the river bank and have brought with them all the provisions they need for a fine day’s fishing.After a while, grandpa lights a cigarette. The boy gazes on. He knows his parents won’t allow him to
|Three Marines were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.The first Marine said “those are deer tracks.”The second Marine said “No, those are elk tracks.”The third Marine said “You’re both wrong, those are moose tracks.”The Marines were still arguing when the train hit them.
A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist. He went there, lay on the couch, spilled his guts then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make him feel better. The psychiatrist asked me a few