An Army Ranger was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes. However, he was not prepared to pay the high prices. After failing to haggle the vendor down to a reasonable price level, he ended up shouting “I don’t give two hoots
Did you hear about the man who left his job at the mortuary? It was a dead end job.
Little Johnny had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his shrink what to do.The shrink said that, since Christmas was coming up that he should ask Johnny what he wanted Santa to bring him. If he cussed, he should leave a
Now I lay me down to sleepI pray this cushy life to keepI pray for toys that look like miceand warm cushions soft and niceFor grocery bags where I can hideJust like a tiger croucched insideI pray for gourmet kitty snacksand someone nice to scratch my backFor window sills all
|An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, “Pull, Nellie, pull.” Buddy didn’t move.Then the farmer hollered, “Pull, Buster, pull.” Buddy didn’t respond.Once more
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog had recently died. “You know, it’s not your fault that the dog died. He’s probably up in heaven right now, having a grand old time with God.” Susie, still crying, said “What would God want with a dead dog?”
First ghoul: You don’t look too well today. Second ghoul: No, I’m dead on my feet.