Three nurses went to heaven, and were

awaiting their turn with St. Peter to plead their case to enter the
pearly
gates.

The first nurse said, “I worked in an
emergency room. We tried our
best to help patients, even though
occasionally we did lose one. I think I
deserve to go to heaven.” St. Peter
looks at her file and admits her
to heaven.

The second nurse
says, “I worked in an operating room. It’s a very
high stress
environment and we do our best. Sometimes the patients are
too sick and
we lose them, but overall we try very hard.” St. Peter
looks at her
file and admits her to heaven.

The third nurse says, “I was a
case manager for an HMO.”

St. Peter looks at her file. He pulls
out a calculator and starts
punching away at it furiously, constantly
going back to the nurse’s file.
After a few minutes St. Peter
looks up, smiles, and says,
“Congratulations! You’ve been admi
tted to heaven … for five days!”

Harry was in the
hospital. He was an old man. From time to time the
young nurse came in
and said in a patronising tone, “And how are we doing
this
morning?”

Well, this is a story of revenge. Harry had received
breakfast, and
pulled the juice off the tray, and put it on his stand. He
had been given
a urine bottle to fill. The juice was apple juice. You
know where the
juice went.

The nurse came in, picked up the
urine bottle and said, “It seems we
are a little cloudy today…”
At this, Harry snatched the bottle out of
her hand, drinked its
contents, saying, “Well, I’ll run it through
again, maybe I can filter
it better this time.”