Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic cow moose costume and learned the mating call of a cow moose.The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume
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A man walks into a friend and sees that his friend’s car is total loss and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his friend, “What’s happened to your car?” “Well,” the friend responses, “I ran into a lawyer”. “OK,” says the man, “that explains the blood…
A woman orders a chicken sandwhich and starts to choke.People are running frantically, trying to figure outwhat to do. Two homosexuals sitting in the corner wisperto each other and run in front of the choking lady. Onestrips out of his overalls, bends over butt naked in frontof his friend. His
A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops in a bar for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying “NERDS NOT ALLOWED-ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!” He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over to him, sniffs,
* I’m out of estrogen. I have a gun. * Guys have feelings, too. But like… who cares? * I don’t believe in miracles. I rely on them. * Next mood swing: 6 minutes. * I hate everybody, and you’re next. * Please don’t make me kill you. * And
Three vampires walk into a bar and sit down. The first vampire says,”I’d like a pint of blood.” The second vampire says,”I’d like a pint of blood, too.” Then the third vampire says,”I’d like a pint a plasma.” Then the bartender says,”OK, so let me get this straight, you want
Dick and Jane were arguing furiously over the breakfast table. ‘ Oh you’re so stupid!’ shouted Dick. ‘Dick!’ said their father, ‘that’s quite enough of that! Now say you’re sorry.’ ‘OK,’ said Dick. ‘Jane, I’m sorry you’re stupid.’