The ninety-year-old man was in for his checkup when the nurse practitioner learned he was about to marry an eighteen year old girl. “Now, Mr. Jenkins,” the nurse practitioner warned, “you should know that when a man your age marries an eighteen-year-old girl, somebody could get hurt.” The old man
One day, a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the Devil.Devil: Why so glum?Guy: Why do you think? I’m in hell.Devil: Hell’s not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here.You a drinking man?Guy:
|What lives in gum trees?Stick insects!
Did you hear about the tramp who walked up to the Jewish mother on the street and said, “Lady, – I haven’t eaten in three days.” “Force yourself” she replied.
FIRST PIGLET: How do you know your boyfriend loves you? SECOND PIGLET: He signs his letters with lots of hogs and kisses.
A coffin was being moved when it fell off a wagon, and started down the hill. One of the morticians started chasing it. As it rolled past the hospital, the mortician yelled to one of the nurse practitioners walking by, “Doc, quick, give me something to stop this coffin.”
What’s the difference between snowmen and snowladies?Snowballs.