QUESTION: How long does a United States Congressman serve? ANSWER: Until he gets caught.
Every time I tell my English Setter to stop barking, it never does! What does it do? It just stands on its back two legs and quotes Shakespeare! What? Yeah, it says, “To bark or not to bark that is the question!” and keeps on barking!
Did you hear about the vampire who had an eye for the ladies? He used to keep it in his back pocket.
What do you do if your dishwasher stops working?Slap the bitch!
|Two musicians are walking down the street, and one says to the other, “Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?” The other replies, “That was no piccolo, that was my fife.”
My mother is a typical Jewish mother.Once she was on jury duty. . .They sent her home. She insisted SHE was guilty.
Osama bin Laden threatened Russia: If you get caught up in this war… I’ll hide from you too!