The girl knelt in the confessional and said,”Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.””What is it, child?””Father, I have committed the sin of vanity.Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirrorand tell myself how beautiful I am.”The priest turned, took a good look at the girl,and said, “My
A man leaves a bar, gets into his car and drives away. 200 yards further he’s stopped by a police officer. Officer: “Good evening sir. We’re testing drivers for drunken driving. Would you please blow into this machine?”. Man: “I’m sorry, I can’t do that. I have asthma. If I
How many chocolate bunnies can you put into an empty Easter basket? One. After that the basket won’t be empty.
Customer: “I’m running Windows ’95.” Tech: “Yes.” Customer: “My computer isn’t working now.” Tech: “Yes, you said that.”
How can you tell if a man is a WASP?He gets out of the shower to pee.
An American is walking down the street when he sees a Polak with a very long pole and a yardstick. He’s standing the pole on its end and trying to reach the top of it with his yardstick.Seeing the Polak’s ignorance, the American wrenches the pole out of his hand,
The congregation was sitting and waiting for the preacherto began his sermon when two masked men burst into thechurch and said “Whoever is not willing to take a bulletfor Jesus better leave now.” More than half of thecongregation jumped up and ran out the door. The two men took off