Where is everyone beautiful? In the dark.
A woman realizes her son has not yet gotten out of bed for school.She goes into his bedroom and tells him to get up or he will miss breakfast.”No,” the son replies. “I don’t wanna go to school!””You HAVE to go to school,” the mother scolds.”No! The kids are mean
Public service announcements around the world. USA: “It’s ten o’clock. Do you know where your children are?” Italy: “It’s ten o’clock. Do you know where your husband is?” France: “It’s ten o’clock. Do you know where your wife is?” Poland: “It’s ten o’clock. Do you know what time it is?”
Two nuns are walking down an alley when two guys jump out of the dark. They start raping the nuns and the first nun says, “Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do!” The second one says, “This one does!”
Bob and Tom both like to golf. One day Bob went to Tom and said, “Hey look at this great ball!” Tom replied, “What’s so great about it?” Bob said, “Well if you lose it, it will beep until you find it, and if it goes into the water it
Woman in bed: Aaagh! Aaagh! A ghost just floated into my room! Ghost: Don’t worry, ma’am, I’m just passing through.
I’ve just come back from the beauty parlour. Pity it was closed!