My boyfriend thinks I’m beautiful Well they do say that love is blind !

Your ugly. And you’re drunk. Yes, but in the morning I’ll be sober !

I don’t think these photographs you’ve taken do me justice. You don’t want justice – you want mercy !

I can’t understand why people say my girlfriend’s legs look like matchsticks. They do look like sticks – but they certainly don’t match.

Two teenage boys were talking in the classroom. One said, ‘I took my girlfriend to see ‘The bride of Dracula’ last night.’ ‘Oh yeah,’ said the other, ‘ what was she like ?’ ‘Well she was about six foot six, white as a ghost and she had big red staring