One night, after closing time a barman is sitting at his bar minding his own buisiness, when a spectral hound floats in through the door. The barman, being an exceptionally cool kind of guy, asks “yeah, what do you want?”. The phantom hound explains, in a haunting voice “I’ve lost
Beautician: Did that mud pack I gave you for your girlfriend improve her appearance ? Man: It did for a while – then it fell off.
Yo Mommas so fat that even Richard Simmons makes fun of her!!!!
These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country. Stud Tires Out Prostitutes Appeal to Pope Panda Mating Fails Veterinarian Takes Over Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again British Left Waffles on Falkland islands Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms Eye Drops off Shelf Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Can you spell a pretty girl with two letters? QT (cutey).
Julie had broken off her engagement. Her friend asked her what had happened. ‘I thought it was love at first sight,’ said Julie. ‘It was, but it was the second and third sights that changed my mind.
There was a hooker with a bunch of other hookers. The police came, and said for all of the girls to line up.The the hooker’s gramma came and said “Why are all of you girls lined up?”The girl didn’t want her gramma to know what she did for a living