Do you ever get the vuja day feeling? Not deja vu. This is vuja day: the strange feeling that none of this has ever happened before-George Carlin
A person is in the hospital and asked his doctor how much time does he have left to live. The doctor did not want to lie so he told him that he wouldn’t make it through the night. So the person calls for his lawyer and asks him to come
What do you call a mother cow that lost her calf?”Decafinated”
God was talking to Adam and Eve one day just before Creation. He asked, “Well, you two, I only have a couple more goodies left to hand out before my job is done.Which one of you wants to be able to pee standing up?”Adam raises his hand and yells “Me,
The IRS announced that obese Americans are entitled to certain tax breaks. Apparently, under the new rules, you’re allowed to claim two or more chins as dependents.-Conan O’Brien
Jesus and Satan have an extended argument as to who is the better computer programmer. Finally, they agree to hold a contest with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and begin programming. Typing furiously for several hours, they enter lines of code streaming across the screen.Seconds
About two weeks before Christmas, a little Catholic boy decided to write a letter to Santa. He started “Dear Santa…”, he thought “No, I will go to a higher authority”, so he decided to write a letter to Jesus.”Dear Jesus, If you get me a bike for Christmas, I will