DOS Beer: Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However, the can is divided into 8 compartments of 2 oz. each, which have
JUDY: What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus? MIKE: We’ll have a boo Christmas without you.
If a month would be only 24 hrs long, we would get paid every day and women would bleed to death.
Q: What gives milk and has one horn?A: A milk truck!
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, “I’ve got to take you in, pal. You’re obviously drunk.”Our wasted friend asked, “Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I’m drunk?”Yeah, buddy, I’m sure,”
You’re trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? You shoot the lawyer. Twice.
Somewhere in America, next week…Dad: Son, come in here, we need to talk. Son: What’s up, Dad?Dad: There’s a scratch down the side of the car. Did you do it? Son: I don’t believe, if I understand the definition of “scratch the car”, that I can say, truthfully, that I