Snappy answers to sappy questions:All your puny problems solved in 10 words or less!Q: Dear Abby,What can I do about my little brother? He’s such a pest!A: Have you tried a flyswatter?Q: Dear Abby,My boss is a mean, unappreciative slave driver who constantly belittles me. What can I do?A: Shut
After careful consideration and endless debate The Perfect Man has finally been named!He’s tan!*******He’s cute!*******He knows the importance of accessorizing!*******And if he looks at another girl, you can rearrange his face!*******INTRODUCING…**************MR. POTATO HEAD!( Good with sour cream and butter too! 🙂
A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself.Approaching the friend he comments, “You look terrible. What’s the problem?””My mother died in June,” he said, “and left me $10,000.””Gee, that’s tough,” he replied.”Then in July,” the friend continued, “My father died leaving me $50,000.””Wow. Two
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: “The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking
A Frenchman, an Englishman, an American man, and a lawyer were sitting on a train. The Frenchman offered everyone some of his baguette, then threw it out the window, saying, “Don’t worry – we have plenty of those where I come from.” The Englishman offered everyone a crumpet, then threw
“I’m worried that I’m losing my wife’s love,” the husband told the counselor.”Has she started to neglect you?” “Not at all,” the dejected man replied. “She meets me at the door with a cold drink and a warm kiss. My shirts are always ironed, she’s a great cook, the house
Dave: I got this great new hearing aid the other day.Mary: Are you wearing it now?Dave: Yup. Cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s top of the line.Mary: Wow! What kind is it?Dave: Twelve-thirty.