A blonde, brunette and a redhead were all in a swimming race. They were supposed to swim the English Channel.A group of spectators anxiously awaited the three women at the finish line. The brunette came in first, then the redhead a little later. They waited hours for the blonde to
Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands.When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset.”You’re running around with other women,” she charged.”You’re being unreasonable,” Adam responded.”You’re the only woman on earth!”The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him
A 90 year old man shows up for a physical. He tells the doctor he is about to marry a 20 year old girl.”Really?” said the doctor. “You’re healthy enough, I suppose, but take my advice. If you want a happy marriage, you should take in a boarder. Do you
So I said “Hey man, that’s my beer.”Then he says, “No man, that’s my beer.” Then the beers say, “No man, we’re our own beers.” That’s when we realized we had too many beers.
It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the high school intercom:”Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing.”Twenty minutes later there was another announcement:”Will the twelve hundred students who went to move “26 cars”, return
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK:IndubitablyInnovativePreliminaryProliferationCinnamonTHINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK:SpecificityBritish ConstitutionPassive-aggressive disorderLoquacious TransubstantiateTHINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK:Thanks, but I don’t want to have sexNope, no more booze for meSorry, but you’re not really my typeGood evening officer,
1. You stand in “line-ups” at the movie, not lines.2. You’re not offended by the term, “Homo Milk”3. You understand the phrase, “Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine”4. You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.5. You drink pop, not soda.6. You know what