Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room while their wives were in labor. The nurse arrived and proudly announced to the first man, “Congratulations, sir. You’re the father of twins!””What a coincidence! I work for the Minnesota Twins Baseball team!”Later the nurse returned and congratulated the second
|A man walks into a bar one day and asks, “Does anyone here own that rottweiler outside?””Yeah, I do!” a biker says, standing up. “What about it?””Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him…””What are you talkin’ about?!” the biker says, disbelievingly. “How could your little runt kill my rottweiler?””Well,
You’ve a face like a million dollars.All green and wrinkled!
Some years ago, Michael J. Flanagan, a successful New York contractor, was standing on the deck of the Staten Island Ferry when a car got loose and sent him into the river where he drowned. The following Sunday his widow, all decked out in deepest black, was standing on the
THE BODY PARTS MEETINGOne day the different parts of the body were having an argument to see which should be in charge:The brain said “I do all the thinking so I’m the most important and I should be in charge.”The eyes said “I see everything and let the rest of
A blonde was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet.”I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks.” He said. “The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least 5 pounds.”When the blonde returned,
|There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the