Question: What is the biggest oxymoron of the 1990’s?Answer: Microsoft Works!
A redneck named Clyde died in a fire and was burnt pretty bad and the morgue needed someone to identify the body, so his two best friends, Clem and Zeke, were sent for.Clem went in first, and the mortician pulled back the sheet.Clem said, Yup, he’s burnt real bad; but
|A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he’d lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. ”No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,” he said
What do a lawyer and sperm have in common?They both have a one in a million chance of being human.
At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. “The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!” An old granny overheard and
Yo Mama is so fat that when she sleeps around the house, she sleeps AROUND the house.
A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?””No”, he replies, “I just bought this state-of-the-art