Where do you find a no legged dog?Right where you left him.
Men are like plungers. They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom
A computer geek goes to prison for fraud, they put him in a cell with a 300LB guy, Having heard what happens to geeks in prison and being nervous he figures he had better introduce himself, He extends his hand and says with a quivering voice, Hi my name is
A man walks into a bar and sees a guy with a really big lighter.He asks the man,”Where did you get such a big lighter?”The man replies,”See that man playing piano over there?He’s a genie and he’ll grant you one wish.”So the guy walks over to the genie and says,”I
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, “MAN, That is the ugliest baby I’ve EVER seen!”In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. She fumed for a few stops
|An accountant dies and goes to Heaven. He reaches the pearly gates and is amazed to see a happy crowd all waving banners and chanting his name.After a few minutes St. Peter comes running across and says, “I’m sorry I wasn’t here to greet you personally. God is looking forward
Men are like horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.