Two psychologists meet at their twentieth college reunion. One of them looks like he just graduated, while the other psychologist looks old, worried and withered. The older looking one asks the other, “What’s your secret? Listening to other people’s problems every day, all day long, for years on end, has
Judge: You claim you robbed the grocery store because you were starving. So why didn’t you take the food instead of the cash out of the till? Burglar: Your Honour! I’m a proud man, sir, and I make it a rule to pay for everything I eat.
So, four nuns die at about the same time, and are waiting at the pearly gates to consult St. Peter. He says, “Next!”He asks the first nun, “Before I let you into Heaven, I have to ask this: Have you ever come in contact with a penis?”The first nun says,
|A woman hears from her doctor that she has only half a year to live.The doctor advises her to marry an economist and to live in South Dakota.The woman asks: will this cure my illness?The doctor replies: No, but the half year will seem pretty long.
A psychologist returned from a confrence in Aspen lodge, where all the psychologists were permited to ski for free. Her husband asked her, “How it went?”. She replied, “Fine, but I’ve never seen so many Freudians slips.”
Judge: Why did you steal that bird? Prisoner: For a lark, sir.
Some Warning Signs of Insanity- You write to your mother in Germany every week, even though she sends you mail from Iowa asking why you never write.- You’re always having to apologize to your next door neighbor for setting fire to his lawn decorations.- Nobody listens to you anymore, because