In a psychiatrist’s waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, “Why are you here?” The second answers, “I’m Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here.” The first is curious and asks, “How do you know that you’re Napoleon?” The second responds, “God
Why does the Law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service!What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer? A tick falls off you when you die !What’s the difference between a dead dog on the
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.A conclusion is the place where you get tired of thinking.Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.For every action, there is equal and opposite criticism.He who hesitates is usually right.Never do card tricks with
First snake:I hope I’m not poisonous.Second snake:Why?First snake:Because I bit my lip!
Judge: Tell me your occupation. Prisoner; I’m a locksmith, Your Honour. Judge: Then what were you doing in a jewellery shop in the middle of the night when the police saw you? Prisoner; Making a bolt for the door!
How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it!
Limmerick of the Day:There once was a girl from Wenatch, She tried to get it on with a match, She got so excited, The damn thing ignited, And burned all the hair off her snatch!