|An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary.”Let’s have a party, Homer,” she suggested. “Let’s kill a pig.”The farmer scratched his grizzled head. “Gee, Ethel,” he finally answered,
A Duck walks into a bar. Duck: You got any bread?Barman: No, sorry, we don’t have any bread[After a few minutes]Duck: You got any bread?Barman: Look, we don’t have any bread[In a little while]Duck: You got any bread?Barman: We don’t have any F*****g bread![Some time later]Duck: Got any bread?Barman: If
Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn’t long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones was having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling insurance to nearly 100% of the recruits he advised. Rather than ask
Q. What do you call a line dancer on a cruise? A. An Ocean “Liner”
There were three guys stuck on an island. On of them found a lamp and rubbed it. Out came a genie. He said for freeing me I’ll grant you each a wish. The first guy said I wish I were 25% smarter. So poof! He was 25% smater built a
The cavalryman was galloping down the road, rushing to catch up with his regiment. Suddenly his horse stumbled and pitched him to the ground. Lying in the dirt with a broken leg, terrified of the approaching enemy, the soldier called out: “All you saints in heaven, help me get up
These two friends are about to go to a club. One of them has a wooden eye. He said ”If someone says something about my eye, i’m gonna snap.” They get there, and he asks a girl to dance. She says, ”Would I?”