Why did the jellybean jump off the cliff ?Because he wanted to be a smarty!
|A guy goes to a psychiatrist. “Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam; then I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam. It’s driving me crazy. What’s wrong with me?” The doctor replies: “It’s very simple. You’re two tents.”
A warrant officer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess”. He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss
I’ve been e-mailing William Shakespeare. William Shakespeare’s dead, silly. No wonder he hasn’t replied.
In a small southern town I saw a wonderful nativity scene, but one feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen’s helmets. Unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a convenience store on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the
1. Leave the copy machine set to 99 copies, reduce 200%, extra dark, 17-inch paper.2. In the memo field of all your checks write “for sensual massage.”3. Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”4. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them
|The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. “What seems to be the problem?” the doctor asked. “Well, I, uh,” she stammered. “I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac.””I see,” he said. “I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour.””That’s not