Sign on a brake repair shop in Joliet, Illinois, “We stand in front of our work.”Sign on a muffler shop in Santa Cruz, “We’re the Nobody that Midas brags about.”
|Police Chief: As a recruit, you’ll be faced with some difficult issues. What would you do if you had to arrest your mother?New Recruit: Call for backup!
The external organs of a body were fighting over who should be boss.The brain said, “I should be boss, since I control what the person thinks.” The hands said, “I should be boss because I do almost everything for the person.”The legs declared, “I shuld be boss since I carry
A little monster was learning to play the violin,’ I’m good, aren’t I?’ he asked his big brother. ‘You should be on the radio,’ said his brother. ‘You think I’m that good?’ ‘No, I think you’re terrible, but if you were on the radio, I could switch you off !
Dentist: Just let me finish and you will be another man after these cosmetic procedures. Patient: Okay doc, but don’t forget to send your bill to the other man.
A guy is taking a walk and sees a frog on the side of the road. As he comes closer, the frog starts to talk. ‘Kiss me and I will turn into a princess.’ The guy picks the frog up and puts it in his pocket.The frog starts shouting, ‘Hey!
Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?A1: I don’t know, there are some things even a blonde won’t do.A2: Something that when it gives you a blow job, it won’t stop until it gets blood.