Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn’t do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to
There was this old guy wandering around in a supermarket calling out at intervals -“Crisco? Crisco? CRIS–CO!!!!”Finally a store clerk approached.”Sir, the Crisco is on aisle five.””Oh,” replied the old guy, “I’m not looking for Crisco, I’m calling my wife.””Your wife is named “Crisco?””Nah,” he answered, “I only call her
An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holdingher hat on tight, so that it would not blow off in the wind.A gentleman approached her and said: “Pardon me, madam. I do notintend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowingup in
How many journalists does it take to change a light bulb? “We just report the facts, we don’t change them.”
An American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Detroit River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be. The Japanese team won by a mile.
An elderly man thinking his wife was losing her hearing went about20′ behind her and asked “Can you hear me sweetheart”?. No reply. Moved to 10′ and inquired again. No reply. 5′ and not a word. A few inches behind ear, he asked “Can you hear me now honey”? His
A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, “Read all about it. Fifty people swindled! Fifty people swindled!” Curious, a man walked over, bought a paper, and checked the front page. Finding nothing, the man said, “There’s nothing in here about fifty people being swindled.”