Mrs. Smith: Help me, doctor! My son, John, swallowed the can opener! Doctor: Don’t panic. He’ll be alright. Mrs. Smith: But how do I open the can of beans?! The toast is getting cold!
An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says ” We’re having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door
How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer “Olive”?Olive ?Yeah, you know, “Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and callhim names”
|What is a cow’s favorite TV show?Dr Moo!Why was the farmer hopping mad?Because someone had trodden on his corn!What would happen if bulls could fly?You would have to carry an umbrella all the time and beef would go up!What do you get if a sheep walks under a cloud?A sheep
An irate father stormed into the principal’s office. “I demand to know,” he screamed, “why my son Winslow was given a zero on his English examination.” “Now, don’t get excited,” said the principal. “We’ll get your Winslow’s English teacher in here. I’m sure she has some explanation.” A few minutes
Doctor: Have you ever had this before? Patient: Yes. Doctor: Well, you’ve got it again!
Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an American, and a Mexican, and they get captured by some Amazons. The head of the tribe says to the German, “What do you want on your back for your whipping?” The German responds, “I will take oil!” So they put