George Carlin’s Reflections on Life:1. Never raise your hands to you kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.2. I’m not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.3. I’m in shape. Round is a shape.4. I’m desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.5. Do illiterate people
Tag: mother
Total 229 Posts
Police Chief: As a recruit, you’ll be faced with some difficult issues. What would you do if you had to arrest your mother? New Recruit: Call for backup!
A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.He inquisitively ask the lady, “Why is your stomach so big?”She replied, “Im having a baby.”With big eyes, he asked, “Is the baby in your stomach?”She said, “He sure is.”Then the little
Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight? You’re going out? Yes. With whom? With a friend. I don’t know why you left your husband. He is such a good man. I didn’t leave him. He left me! You let him leave you, and now you go out
A lovely young Jewish girl was employed by a clothing firm in NewYork.She and her widowed mother shared the same ambition: marriage to awealthy man. One day she returned from work, eyes red from crying. As soon as she entered the apartment she called, “MAMA, I’m pregnant!Don’t get excited. The
My mother is a typical Jewish mother.Once she was on jury duty. . .They sent her home. She insisted SHE was guilty.
Women truly are better than men. Otherwise, they’d be intolerable. – Ed AbbeyIn everything but brains and brawn, women are vastly superior to men. – Ed AbbeyGirls, like flowers, bloom but once. But once is enough. – Edward AbbeyWomen who love only women may have a good point. – Edward