|”Haven’t I seen your face before?” a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant.”You have, Your Honor,” the man answered hopefully. “I gave your son violin lessons last winter.””Ah, yes,” recalled the judge. “Twenty years!”
A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he’s topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he can’t escape and finally pulls over. The cop approaches the car and says, “It’s been a long day and my tour is almost over,
There are bats hanging of a branch upside down, all except one. Two bats comment: “What’s happened to this one? – I don’t know, two minutes ago he seemed normal and then he fainted.
Why do women pay so much attention to their appearance rather than toimproving their minds?Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
|Two violinists make a pact that whoever dies first, he will contact the other and tell him what life in Heaven is like. Poor Max has a heart attack and dies.He manages to make contact with Abe the next day.Abe says, “I can’t believe this worked! So what is it
A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says “Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses.” The woman answered “Well, I have contacts.” The policeman replied “I don’t care who you know! You’re getting a ticket!”
A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way