Waiter: “Tea or coffee, gentlemen?” 1st customer: “I’ll have tea.” 2nd customer: “Me, too – and be sure the glass is clean!” (Waiter exits, returns) Waiter: “Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?”
|When a young hotshot conductor was making his debut at the Met, he showed the jaded and skeptical orchestra how well he knew the music by singing all parts of the Lucia sextet during rehearsal.Afterwards, one musician was overheard whispering to the other, impressed, “Well, this kid really knows his
A Jewish congregation in New York honors its Rabbi for 25 years of serviceby sending him to Hawaii for a week, all expenses paid.When he walks into his hotel room, there’s a beautiful girl, nude, lying onthe bed. She says, “Hi, Rabbi, I’m a little something extra that thepresident of
Late one Friday night the policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening. “Aye, so I have. ‘Tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where
A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat. “Are you crazy?” yelled the customer, “with your hand on my steak?” “What” answers the waiter, “You want it to fall on the floor again?”
How do you blind a woman? Put a windshield in front of her face!
|So this trumpet player dies. When he reaches is everlasting reward, the guy in the robe says, “You’re going to spend eternity with this combo, okay? There’s a bass player named ‘Mingus’ and a pianist named ‘Monk’, and any day now we expect this ‘Blakey’ guy to show up with