The desk sergeant answered the phone, and at once a woman began screaming. “You’ve got to help me! There’s a giant gray thing in my yard, and it’s pulling apples off the tree with its tail!” “What’s he doing with the apples?” the sergeant asked. “If I told you,” the
How can you tell if a man’s playing around?He sends you love notes that are photocopied and begin with the line, “To whom it may concern…”
The Perfect Day According To:HER8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses9:00 5 pounds lighter on the scale9:30 Light breakfast11:00 Sunbathe12:30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe1:45 Shopping2:30 Run into boyfriend’s/husband’s ex – notice she’s gained 30 lbs3:00 Facial, massage, nap7:30 Candlelight dinner for two and dancing10:00 Make love11:30 Pillow
One evening this Columbia Yuppie was stopped for allegedly drunken driving and was given a breath test by the Howard County Police. “Well ?” he asked somewhat belligerently as the Desk Sergeant slowly read the print out and entered the information in the arrest record. “Disappointing to say the least,”
An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says ” We’re having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door
What usually happens when a man puts his best foot forward?It ends up in his mouth!
So you think your life is bad…Just think how bad the life of an egg is…You only get laid onceYou only get eaten onceIt takes 4 minutes to get hard and2 minutes to get softYou have to share a box with 11 other guysAnd the only chick that ever sat