Many a relationship could be thrown a curve ball if women always told the truth in bed. Imagine the revelation…She: Get off of me, will ya!! He: Whatsa matter, am I hurting you?She: No, you’re not hurting me, you’re annoying me. You think you could hurt me with THAT?!?
Waiter, what is this hare doing in my salad? I believe he’s eating your lettuce.
The Three Laws of Secure Computing 1) Don’t buy a computer. 2) If you do buy a computer, don’t plug it in. 3) If you do plug it in, sell it and return to step 1.
Why don’t men get hemorrhoids?Because they are all perfect assholes!
This couple has been dating for about four months, but the guy had been afraid of making any sexual advances because of his tiny organ.Finally, he gets up his courage and takes her to a secluded spot in his car. While they are kissing, he opens his zipper and guides
Rabbit: I got kicked out of my cage for not paying the rent. My wife walked out and took our twenty-nine bunnies with her. I’m all out of carrots. What should I do? Friend: Don’t worry; be hoppy!
Why do men snore?When they fall asleep, their balls cover their assholes and they vapor lock.