From David Letterman – Tuesday, January 31, 1995Top Ten Signs You’re Not The Sexiest Man Alive10. When people see you, they often ask, “Is it Halloween already?”9. You appear in TV Guide crossword puzzle with the clue, “Siskel and ___”8. The best term to describe you is “super hairy”.7. You
An old man is lying on his deathbed with all his children, grandchildren and his older great-grandchildren all around, teary-eyed at the approaching finale of a very long and productive life.The old man in is a terminal coma, and the doctors have confirmed that the waiting will be over within
On a cross-country bus trip, Mrs. Davis became extremely queasy dueto motion sickness.She make her way to the restroom,only to find itlocked.She went back to her seat, laid her head back and tried tofight off the nausea. Unsuccessfully, she rolled her head to the rightand threw up on the lap
A technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was “bad and invalid”. The tech explained that the computer’s “bad” and “invalid” responses shouldn’t be taken personally.
A popular bar had a new robotic bartender installed. A guy came in for a drink and the robot asked him, “What’s your IQ?”The man replied, “130.” So the robot proceeded to make conversation about physics, astronomy, and so on. The man listened intently and thought, “This is really cool.”Another
On a very cold winter night, three homeless men huddled up close to keep warm. In the morning, the guy on the right says, “I had a dream that someone was pulling on my dick.”The guy on the left says, “I also had a dream that someone was pulling on
A customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then he removed all the keys and washed them individually.