Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods on her way to visit her grandmother, when suddenly The Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree.”Ah-ha….,” The Big Bad Wolf said, “Now I’ve got you and I’m going toeat you! EAT! EAT! EAT!…”Little Red Riding Hood said angrily,”Damn
A boy with an elephant on his head went to see a doctor. The doctor said, “You know you really need help” “Yes I do”, said the elephant, “get this kid off my foot !”
Customer: “I’ve been doing risk analysis by hand for five years, and we finally got your program so we could do it automatically — but there’s a bug in it. The answers come out differently each time.” Tech Support: “Sir, are you aware that our program uses Monte-Carlo analysis?” Customer:
A man leaned toward an attractive woman at a bar and told her, “Haven’t I seen you somewhere before?””Yes,” she replied in a loud voice, “I’m the receptionist at the V.D. clinic.”
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. –Benjamin Franklin
How do you piss your girlfriend of when your having sex?Call her up
Customer: “Hi, I’m supposed to pack [zip] my database and send it to you. What should I pack it in?”