Q: How do you tell if an Arkansas girl is old enough to marry? A: Make her stand in a barrel. If her chin is over the top, she’s old enough. If it isn’t, cut the barrel down a bit.
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mine?
I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it’s the only time he hears someone tell him, “Wow, that’s a big one!”
|You know you’re getting older when…Everything that works hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work. You feel like the morning after, and you haven’t been anywhere. Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D. Your children are beginning to look middle-aged. Your mind makes contracts your body can’t
|Top NFL Complaints After shooting the blank gun to end the half, the Dallas Cowboy players start shooting back with live ammunition. Calling “heads or tails” but never getting any. . . “head” or “tail”. Players get “the wave”. . . refs get “the finger”. Anyone who makes a call
Paul says to Jesus, “Hey man, whatcha doing for Passover?” Jesus says, “Just hanging around.”
James and his wife, Martha, are getting ready to leave home for a vacation.Martha started out the door, then stopped, turned around, and said, “James, this time you should go check to see if the coffee pot is off, television plugs are pulled, lamp timers are set, thermostat is adjusted,