Q: How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding? A: He’s the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt.
Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed.With a low voice he sad to his wife: “When I’m dead I want you to marry farmer Jones.”Wife: “No, I can’t marry anyone after you.” Johnson: “But I want you to.” Wife: “But why?” Johnson: “Jones once cheated
|OLD WANTS never die, they become needsOLD WATCHMAKERS never die, they just run out of timeOLD WATCHMAKERS never die, they just unwindOLD WATCHMAKERS never die, they just wind downOLD WEATHERMEN never die, they reign foreverOLD WHITE WATER RAFTERS never die, they just get disgorgedOLD WOOL COATS never die, they just
The Yuppie showered a Yuppette with gifts for over a month. He took her to fancy restaurants and expensive resorts. Finally, he proposed, “Bernie, if you will marry me, I have enough money to provide you with anything your little heart desires.””Sorry John.” she replied. “I’m not ready to settle
Having spent half the night discussing involvement vs. commitment (one of my favorite topics when I’ve had a couple of glasses of wine and am feeling particularly cranky) with my boyfriend, I was quite amused to see the following saying pop up when I logged in the next morning:Commitment, n.:
|OLD SOCCER PLAYERS never die, they just achieve their final goalOLD SOCCER PLAYERS never die, they just lose their kickOLD SOLDIERS never die, they just fade awayOLD SOLDIERS never die, they just smell that wayOLD SOLDIERS never die, young ones doOLD SOURDOUGHS never die, they just ferment awayOLD SPELUNKERS never
An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night. A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most. “When I die I will dig