After attending a party for his boss, the life of the party was nursing a king-size hangover and asked his wife, “What the hell happened?””As usual, you made an ass of yourself in front of your boss,” replied the wife.”Piss on him,” answered the husband. “You did,” said the wife,
|An evil Atheist explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself “Oh God, I’m screwed!!!!!.” There is a ray of light from heaven and a voice booms out: “No, you are NOT screwed. Pick
Three Pastors from the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, “Ya know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I’ve tried everything-noise, spray, cats-nothing seems to scare them away. Another said, “Yea, me too. I’ve got hundreds living
Q: How many French farmers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Three. Farmer #1 goes away and gets a new lightbulb. Farmer #2 notices that it has been imported from Britain and promptly sets fire to it, so farmer #1 has to go and get another one,
On the way home from the party, the woman said to her husband, “Have I ever told you how handsome and sexy and irresistible to women you are?””Why no,” said the husband, flattered.”Then what the hell gave you that idea at the party?!” she yelled.
|OLD TEACHERS never die, they just lose their classOLD TELEPHONES never die, they just stop ringingOLD THERMODYNAMICISTS never die, they just achieve their state — of maximum entropyOLD TIRE TUBES never die, they just get puncturedOLD TRASH never dies, they just bury itOLD TRIGONOMETRY TEACHERS never die, they just lose
I overheard a friend telling his pal, “I can’t break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning.””What is she doing?”, the pal asks.”Waiting for me to get home.”