A fellow finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St. Peter explains that its not so easy to get in heaven. There are some criteria before entry is allowed. For example, was the man religious in life? Attend church? No? St. Peter told him that’s bad. Was he generous?
Well the King’s daughter was into her mid twenties,and the king didn’t want his princess to be an old maid.The princess wasn’t the most beautiful of women, andwasn’t having any luck finding a suitable husband. TheKing finally decided to take matters into his own hand.He had flyers printed up and
Did you know that heaven and hell are actually right next to each other? They are seperated by a big chain-link fence. Well, one day hell was having a big party and it got a little out of hand. God heard the ruckus and arrived to find his fence completely
This guy’s in the rear of a full elevator and he shouts, “Ballroomplease.” A lady standing in front of him turns around and says, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was crowding you.”
Satan greets him: “Welcome Mr. Gates, we’ve been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You’ve been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you’ve got me in a good mood, I’ll be generous and give you a choice of three places
Joe has always had an uncontrollable twitch in hisleft eyelid since young. Fred has a splitting headacheand asks Joe to go get some aspirins. Half an hourlater Joe comes back with a dozen packets of condoms.”I asked you to get me aspirins, not condoms.””Yeah, I went to a dozen drug
Q: What’s Osama Bin Laden going to be for Halloween? A: Dead.