A punk walked into a barber’s shop and sat in an empty chair. “Haircut, sir?” asked the barber. “No, just change the oil, please!”
I hear you are a real humanitarian. You have kept three or four detectives working regularly. I hear you are connected to the Police Department — by a pair of handcuffs. Hello — tall, dark and obnoxious! You remind me of the ocean — you make me sick. You should
A woman gives birth to twins, a girl and a boy.Her husband isn’t there, and she doesn’t wantto name them without him seeing them first. Butthe hospital insists that the babies must benamed by the end of the day. Crazy Uncle Louieoverhears this and he names them (unbeknowst tothe couple).
Did you hear about the vampire who died of a broken heart? He had loved in vein.
These are supposedly actual quotes taken from around the world. “The effects are fleeting and lingering…” – Overheard in a hallway “In Managua, people are cheering in the streets, which are deserted.” – CBS reporter during the solar eclipse “A trucker called to thank all of the courteous Seattle drivers
Weill and Mahoney had started with only five hundred dollars between them, but they had built up a computer business with sales in the millions. Their company employed over two hundred people, and the two executives lived like princes.Almost overnight, things changed. Sales dropped sharply, former customers disappeared, and the
These are supposedly actual quotes taken from around the world. “That race was all about competition.” – David Coleman, ITV “And I can see the strong wind blowing the sun towards us.” – Brian Johnson, BBC Radio 3 Mark Goodier: What’s the name of the company you work for? Listener: