Traveling faster than light, but left his sneakers behind. Traveling without a passport/towel. Trips over cordless phones. Truck can’t haul a full load. Trying out for the javelin retrieval team. Tuning in shortwave with a TV antenna. Two bits shy of a word/dollar. Two chapters short of a novel. Two
Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven years old. They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might have forgotten
Two men were having a drink together. One said, “I’d rather live with a vampire than with my wife.” “Why’s that?” asked the other. “Because she’s always trying to bite my head off,” he replied.
How much for a haircut? Barber: Fifteen dollars. How much for a shave? Barber: Ten dollars. Right – shave my head.
Uses thumbtacks to post notes — on his refrigerator. Uses two hands to eat with chopsticks. Using a 1S-2D floppy for brains in a world of hard disks. Vacancy on the top floor. Vacuuming linoleum using a deep-pile setting. Vertically-fornicated mind. Views mold as a higher life form. Warranty expired.
It’s the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date.He’s a pretty hip guy with his own car. When he goes to thefront door, the girl’s father answers and invites him in.Carrie’s not ready yet, so why don’t you have a seat?,” hesays. “That’s cool” says Bobby.Carrie’s
Did you hear about the vampire who got married? He proposed to his girl-fiend.