A few guppies short of an aquarium. A few inches short of a foot/yard. A few kernels short of an ear. A few kopeks short of a ruble. A few links shy of a chain. A few measures short of a staff. A few open splices. A few peas short
The Lone Ranger and Tonto had been riding down the trailall day. When they had stopped to take a rest Tontoplaced his ear to the ground and listened. “Buffalo come,” remarked Tonto. “How can you tell, Tonto?” asked the Lone Ranger. “Face sticky.”
A medical mystery. A mental midget with the IQ of a fencepost. — Tom Waits A mind as empty as the sleeping pill concession at a honeymoon hotel. A mind like wet tennis shoes… Makes squishy noises when running. A modest little person, with much to be modest about. —
Man in a pub, “If you went camping and woke up in the morning with abloody condom hanging out of your arse, would you tell anyone?” Other man, “Bloody hell, no!”First man, “Want to come camping?”
How does a vampire get through life with only one fang? He has to grin and bare it.
Teacher: What’s the definition of a Polygamist? Pupil: A parrot with more than one wife!
All booster, no payload. All crown, no filling. All foam, no beer. All hammer, no nail. All hat and no cattle. All he remembers about his middle name is the first letter. All his eggs in the same basket. All his learning curves look like Mount Everest. All icing, no