A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy, oversized travel bag onto the plane. Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed to stuff it in the overhead bin. “Do you always carry such heavy luggage?” she sighed. “No more,” the man said. “Next time, I’m riding in
A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, “Religion?” The man says, “Methodist.” St. Peter looks down his list, and says, “Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8.” Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. “Religion?” “Baptist.” “Go to room
A man who forgets his wife’s birthday is certain to get something to remember her by.
All marriages are happy–it’s the living together afterward that causes all the problems. Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn’t agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers
Mister Smith rushes into the maternity ward, “What’s wrong?What’s the emergency?””Oh, Mister Smith, your child was just born and I have someterrible news for you. It’s disfigured.””Well, how bad is it? Can I see?””Follow me, sir.”They head down a restricted corridor and come to the firstdoor. Inside, in the respirator,
This woman is visiting in Israel and notices that her little travel alarm needs a battery. She looks for a watch repair shop and while she doesn’t read Hebrew she finally sees a shop with clocks and watches in the window. She goes in and hands the man her clock.
One day at the entrance to heaven, St. Peter saw a New York street gang. walk up to the Pearly Gates. This being a first, St. Peter ran to God and said, “God, there are some evil, thieving New Yorkers at the Pearly Gates. What do I do?”. God replied,