TOP TEN THINGS MEN SHOULDN’T SAY OUT LOUD AT VICTORIA’S SECRET10. Does this come in children’s sizes?9. No thanks, just sniffing8. I’ll be in the dressing room going blind7. Mom will love this6. Oh size won’t matter, she’s inflatable.5. No need to wrap it, I’ll eat it here4. Will you
A marine general, an army general and a navy admiral were discussing who had the toughest men. The army general says, “Alright, I’ll prove the army has the toughest men in the country. Private, get overhere!” The private reports as ordered, “Yes sir?” The general says, “See that man over
One evening, Frank was drinking at a bar when the bartender came over to tell Frank that he had a telephone call.Frank had just bought another beer and he didn’t want anyone else to drink it. So, Fred wrote a little sign and left it by his beer that read:
A little girl was next in line. ‘My name’s Curtain,’ she said. ‘I hope your first name is not Agnate ?’ ‘No, it’s velvet !’
I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table.I will not roll my toys behind the fridge. I must shake the rainwater out of
An elderly woman goes to the doctor and asks his help to revive her Husband’s sex drive.’What about trying Viagra?’ asks the doctor.Not a chance’ says Mrs. Murphy. “He won’t even take an aspirin for a headache.”‘No problem,’ replies the doctor. ‘Drop it into his coffee,he won’t even taste it.
From one of Tom Clancy’s books:Commanding officer: “Alright! How about an attitude check???” Crew (In Unison): “I HATE THIS FUCKING PLACE!” CO: “Now, let’s be more positive…” Crew: “I POSITIVELY HATE THIS FUCKING PLACE!” CO: “OK, How about a negative attitde check…” Crew: “I DON’T LIKE THIS FUCKING PLACE!” CO: