This old guy wobbles into an ice cream shop.He has a hard time walking. He is hunched over.He goes up to the counter and says, “Banana Split, please.”The lady at the counter replies, “Crushed nuts?”The old man says, “No, Arthritis!”
McAteer arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered about the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick.”No,” replied McAteer. “I’ve lost all me luggage!” “How’d that happen?” “The cork fell out,” said the Irishman.
A guy finally gets a date with an easy blonde. To prepare for the date he sunbathes in the nude on his roof, falls asleep and burns his manhood. He doesn’t want to cancel so he slathers it with lotion and wraps it in gauze. The blonde shows up at
How does Santa Claus take pictures? With his North Pole-aroid.
Q: How do you drown a blonde?A: Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
When Bill and Hillary first got married, Bill said, “I am putting a box under our bed. You must promise never to look in it.”In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. However, on the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the better of her and she
A woman goes into a bar with a little Chihuahua dog on a leash.She sits down at the bar next to a drunk. The drunk rollsaround, leans over, and splat! He pukes all over the dog. Thedrunk looks down, sees the little dog struggling in the pool ofvomit, and slurs,