A survey was being taken on the University of Arizona campus. The survey taker asked a soccer player, “What do you think of bilingualism?” “Oh, I think it’s okay,” said the boy, “if it’s between consenting adults.”
Sven and Olie died and went to Hell. After awhile, the Devil came by to see how his new guests were doing. To his amazement, he found Sven and Olie were still wearing their winter gear and seemed to be quite comfortable. The Devil asked why they weren’t hot.Olie replied,
A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; the wife preferred to read. One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap. The wife decided to take the boat
|Three blondes were walking through the desert when they found a magic genie’s lamp.After rubbing the lamp to make the genie appear, he said, “I will grant three wishes, one for each of you.”The first said, “I wish I were smarter.”So, she became a redhead.The second blonde said, “I wish
“Things are more like they are now than they have ever been.” –President Gerald Ford “My fellow astronauts…”–Vice-President Dan Quayle, beginning a speech at an Apollo 11 anniversary celebration. “Capital punishment is our society’s recognition of the sanctity of human life.”–Orrin Hatch, Senator from Utah, explaining his support of the
A man comes home and hears hard breathing female noises from inside the aprtment, walks inside to find his wife on the floor of the living room naked. Wife yells, “help, help, I am having a heart attack”, the husband runs in the other room to call the doctor when
Arvil was coming out of the Texas University student building when he was stopped by two coeds. “Would you like to become a Jehovah’s Witness?” asked one of the girls. “No, I really couldn’t. I didn’t see the accident.”