Top 10 signs Santa doesn’t like your kid:10. Kid’s letter to North Pole comes back stamped, “Dream on, Chester!”9. Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of smokes8. Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping and handling7. By the time he gets to your house, all he has
*** Signs that you “just might” have a drinking problem. ***You lose arguments with inanimate objects.You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.Your job is interfering with your drinking.Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive
|5. You never have to watch reruns on television.4. You are always meeting new people.3. You don’t have to remember the whines and complaints of your spouse.2. You can hide your own Easter eggs.1. Mysteries are always interesting.
You might be a redneck if you’ve been married three timesand still have the same in-laws.
A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. A friend of his said, “I thought she wanted one of those sporty 4-Wheel drive vehicles.” “She did,” he replied. “But where in the hell was I gonna find a fake Jeep?”
A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows should be milked. “Oh, I reckon about the same as short ones!” the farmer answered.
Dear Santa: We’re worried about you.From your rosy red cheeks to your legendary girth to your all-night sleigh ride around the world, you may be at risk for diseases, maladies, mishaps and lawsuits that send chills through our Santa-loving hearts. The latest warning comes from the National Rosacea Society in